I'm human too

2012-02-09T20:56:00.003+08:00

The week's finally coming to an end!

So so so many things to do.. i could barely take a breather.
Lessons, tuition & hall events take up most of my time. Whatever remains' for reading or the (slow) completion of assignments.

Today, i finally found an hour to take a swim.
When i hit the waters, I felt so happy and free! Not even exaggerating mannnnnn.

Tired, but like they always say: damn shiok!
Wanna lead my life this way =)

2012-02-06T01:15:00.008+08:00

PONDnography with a splash of love
-
It's been awhile since i had celebrated my birthday (properly).
I've always preferred a simple affair of just a meal out with the ones i love. No need for the purchase of gifts, even.

But this 21st was something quite special.
It started off rather quiet, and suspicious..
Ben said he was "home" but i heard someone saying "birthday" while i was talking to him over the phone.

Then he appeared at my hall, and handed me a lovely handmade card.
The night followed with a surprise birthday cake made of delightful sugared cupcakes; figured to be rather costly since it was from Dom's baker. I also recieved a huge balloon that's still sitting beside me now, as well as a compilation of written well-wishes from all my close friends.

Derek's

Dom's

Venice's
Val's

Ben's (a separate one)

And many many more which are all on facebook.
Subsequently i was thrown into the lotus pond (a tradition in hall 6) together with Ben (poor him!).
The next day (2 Feb itself), Ben had planned to bring me to Marina Bay sands for a meal.
Otw there he said "your second surprise's round the corner".
& seconds later my best friend April stood in front of me.
He asked her along for dinner and that was truly the best birthday present!

However smelly/dirty i was, just wanna thank everyone for making this so special.
My beloved NSG in hall, my swim friends, my seniors, other hall friends, my best friend, and of course, Benjamin... thank you all for loving me!

2012-02-04T01:47:00.001+08:00

Undeniably one of the best birthdays ever! Gonna leave the birthday post on credit as I ninja my weekend away.

Kudozzzzz

2012-01-31T13:37:00.003+08:00

Often enough I'd imagine myself chasing colorful strips of sugar-coated licorice. Slowly my legs ache and burn from the determination for what's in front of me. When i've attained it, i shake off the sugar coat.. only to find the accomplishment odd-tasting and pungent.

Still willing to take the risk, still on the constant search for something pleasant inside out.

2012-01-31T01:22:00.006+08:00

God damn it! The state of gasping for time, or holding on to whatever remains' draining all the zest in me. Every Monday i enter the cycle:

lessons -> tuition -> hall event -> swim -> supper w friends -> lessons -> tuition -> .... & it goes on..

Barely leaving any time for myself, i rush home on the weekends just for a meal with my parents.. or two if i'm lucky.

But what warms the heart most is always him, him waiting for me after tuition on Fridays just to send me home. Him carrying me to my bed after my many failed attempts of prying eyelids open just for a bit more time spent. Him covering the sheets for me in the morning. Him sending me back to school. Him and all his cute conduct filled with surprises.

What will i ever do without him? :*)

2012-01-30T00:14:00.002+08:00

3 days away from turning 21 & i don't know why but i'm feeling the jitters.
Maybe it's an indication of adulthood, otherwise the fact of not being able to deny it anymore.

2012-01-26T11:33:00.003+08:00

Woke up at 7.30am today for a swim.
Everyone go buy lottery you're sure to strike!

2012-01-25T22:26:00.005+08:00

With the arrival of the dragon year

This annual affair has never been only ordinary.

Year after year, we gather to take pictures, collect our red packets, eat abalones, anticipate the usual lion dance.. and of course, gamble!

2012's Chinese New Year saw less visitors, less red packets, less relatives who flew back from abroad. But what's heartwarming is how the close-knitted ties between us never seem to be able to cease or even crease.

We used to meet weekly. Now less frequently, but still once a month at least.We organise outings occasionally and even have a facebook page (for the benefit of not only better communication but also to mass communicate with those in the various parts of USA, Australia, and Thailand).

In the past we played tag and mushroom and vampire and crocodile and all the games that now remain as only memories. We chose to live in a tent on the field behind the big bungalow, climbed the high walls of the house instead of entering from the front gate. Cooked eggs from the fire we started and played sparkles whenever possible.

Now as we age (gracefully i believe) we sit around in a room, but never running out of topics to laugh about. Less energised physically we've halted the fun games we used to play.

But the few times we went for a walk around the estate, in the park, or along the park connector, the few times we went to the roof to gaze at stars or at the eclipse, the few times we sat by the pool to have our meal together.. is also as fun!

No generation gap is too wide for us.

We hug our grandmother each time we see her. Joke with our aunties and uncles as though they are our friends. Play with the kids (the new addition to the cousins) like we're their age.

We're all blessed with a good grandmother, who've taught our parents well enough to keep this family inseparable.

For many, Chinese New Year is all about the holiday, the goodies, the red packets, gambling, an excuse to buy new clothes..

But for me, it's nothing but a reminder that blood is indeed thicker than water.

2012-01-23T02:33:00.001+08:00

These tears won't fall without reason anymore.

2012-01-21T12:13:00.002+08:00

Being alone is in no sense similar to being lonely.
For many, meals become savorless or grody once alone. Time pass exceptionally slowly. The hallway feels unusually long...
Quite the contrary. I enjoy occasional moments of solitude.
Strangely, i feel more confident. More undaunted.
It is odd how people parallel Autophobia to insubstantial esteem; it works the other way round for me. I remember walking down the streets of Orchard with my 5-inched heels after a terrible break up. Somehow or rather i was drawn nearer to nature, further from artifice... and this liberation can not be achieved in any other way, but from relishing momentary reclusion.

Nobody wants to be alienated, but to alienate yourself & feel good about it.. is a whole different thing altogether.

2012-01-17T21:04:00.002+08:00

The past few days 've been rather productive: a comprehensive balance of school, exercise, and fun.

I wake up early for lessons, swim after school before having dinner, and read during my free time. Despite being content w my grades last semester, i know i can do better with consistency. Mediocrity's what i don't mind but also something i will not settle for too frequently.
Apart from keeping up with academic competition, bumming around's now also history!

All these efficiency.. somehow makes me look forward more to the weekends, when i can finally let down my hair and just be cradled in your arms tirelessly.

2012-01-16T11:28:00.002+08:00

Burnt my sunday doing some physical work with these people but it was all worth the time, and effort! In a bid to raise funds we had our hands dirty from collecting newspapers, interacting with residents, and above all, bonding with one another.
I cannot explain how much i enjoy being in the Dinner and Dance committee, only because all selflessness and patience's demonstrated at it's best.

There's a fine line drawn between posting something cliche and something necessary, and this indubitably falls under the latter category.

2012-01-13T02:00:00.001+08:00

I can only grow to love you more :*)

2012-01-11T17:44:00.003+08:00

Gearing up for the academic rigour i find discipline an issue difficult to keep to.

Apart from hitting the pool everyday; in preparation for the swim competition otherwise for my own recreation, i drown easily not in the waters but from the stress built up from competition in school.

Everybody seems to be so caught up with grades that they've lost themselves.

2012-01-09T04:10:00.003+08:00

Its 4am into the morning & we just spent the night doing what we've always done together.

We're all so accustomed to being together almost every day that we meet even on the weekends, whatsapp each other every other hour, and catch up for hours even though we last saw one another 1 day ago.

It's been a semester, but i can spend every other without letting boredom get to me.
Thanks for making the fun part of school... more than just fun.

2012-01-06T16:21:00.001+08:00

It's a rather nice feeling.

A rather nice feeling between us.

2012-01-03T22:29:00.002+08:00

Welcoming 2012

Spent my new year's eve at Botanic Gardens with the people that matter.

Two picnic mats filled with a spread of food, booze, and some bacardi.

Spent the beginning of the new year at Janise's place playing cards and eating pizza!
The second day of the new year's spent celebrating again,
but this time for Auntie Sharon (Ben's Mummy)!

Had a hearty dinner at Friends @ Jelita!

The cake from Awfully Chocolate's still lingering in my mouth yumzzz

A good start to 2012 indeed!

2012-01-03T14:08:00.004+08:00

You make everything seem so easy

Even when i threw petty tantrums
or troubled you
screwed things up
forgot important things
put on weight
kicked you off the bed,

i love you for loving even the ugliest, ugliest side of me.

2012-01-01T15:54:00.001+08:00

Looking for my typical end-of-year post?

2011's been bittersweet. Riding on emotional roller-coasters, hoping the best for academic acceptance, & entering a whole new phase in my life.

The first 3 months of 2011 felt liberating. Often enough you'd find me out of town, walking the cold windy coasts of Korea juxtaposed with the poor muddy ones in Laos. Satisfying material wants in commercialized Bangkok and cultural curiosity in Chiangmai.
Opening my eyes, liberating my Self.

From then onwards till July I was blinded. Infatuated with someone whom I thought could finally give me happiness again. Little did I know, it was nothing more than a saintly facade. He left me shortly after i received an acceptance letter into a local university. Unveiling the truth I had to face reality someday: he knew there'd be better men. & in thinking that, I know there definitely will be.

Anticipating college life as a 4-year bore was a mistake. Orientation camp came as a surprise, and within a short week I've made the best kind of friends school could ever provide me with. The exciting school life took away my pain, the heart aches, and all the tears I cried to sleep.

Soon I met this amazing guy. Intelligent, witty, but never boring. A determined sportsmen filled with motivation. Keeps me safe and warm, loved and assured. More realistic than the previous, didn't allow me to indulge in my fantasies. I see more of a future in him than anyone else.
And I'm glad that at this time of the year, we've integrated into each other's families- just very comfortably.

We went for a short trip. That was just the start of my holidays. It continued with us meeting everyday (be it planned or impromptu) but never getting sick of each other. Not yet at least, and never I hope! Met up with many good friends this holiday. Hani, Hazel, Jason, Nevin, Shuzhen, Weemin.

Tonight's gonna be as comfortable. Bidding farewell to 2011 with Ben, Ezra and Jackson. I remember the same time last year when Ezra, Jackson and I sat down at Starbucks, talked about everything in our lives before we went to drink. This year it will be the same, except for the guy I love joining us, as well as even better plans; things can only get better, hallelujah!

In welcoming 2012, I only wish for a few things:

1. For the always happy family to remain happy, and my sister to keep safe halfway across the world. I'll see you soon, lovely.

2. For Ben to achieve everything he wants: military scholarship, imperial university, investments etc.

3. For my best friend April to remain happy & never have to cry herself to sleep on my bed ever again. & that the next time I see her cry, would be tears of happiness, because such a wonderful girl like her deserves only the best.

Happy New Year everyone!

2011-12-31T02:37:00.001+08:00

Still spending every day with you & I'm not even getting close to being accustomed to your somewhat cheeky conduct full of surprises; forever deemed interesting, fresh and renewable..

Just like how my love for you renews every other day.

2011-12-27T23:15:00.003+08:00

I'm happy cos i'm in love with this guy..

who makes me feel like i'm the luckiest girl alive.
My Christmas present from the boyfriend:

A dress (saving it for CNY), chiffon top, snakeskin loafers, cosmetics, a nice meal at Keppel club, and a haircut (tomorrow)! To sum it up it was a Christmas budget for shopping hehe.

Since Christmas' over & just when i was fretting over the usually expensive haircut,
"mmmm you still have some Christmas budget left... :) "

Love everything, love the practicality, love you, Benjamin Ng!

2011-12-26T16:56:00.001+08:00

Spent Christmas Eve with the bestfriend and boyfriend! It was simple but absolutely heart-warming, and the comfort was indescribable.

With my sister in Arizona, Mum in Japan & Dad in Vietnam, Christmas dinner with Ben's family was filled with nothing but warmth.
The supermarkets flooded w not only people but also the festive spirit, Ben and I had so much fun grocery shopping!
After which, we whipped up a Christmas dinner together w uncle's yummy roast chicken :) exchanged gifts before we left for a midnight movie.

Took a long stroll back home at 3am in the cold wind, but above all.. falling asleep in your arms couldn't have concluded my Christmas any better.

2011-12-24T03:56:00.001+08:00

Why did I do that again
Why did I do that again
Why did I do that again?

2011-12-23T16:16:00.001+08:00

About to dine at Keppel Club with Ben and I'm all hyped for some sashimi tonight

2011-12-21T11:41:00.002+08:00

Last thursday i had a nice lunch at Strictly Pancakes w Jason before we went to my fav Blue Mountain Cafe at somerset for tea.
Spent quality time with Ben from friday-tuesday with a long stayover at his place.
This morning i woke up to a stack of blankets over me, with a note reminding me to have breakfast as well as to wear my socks lest i suffer from blisters again.

Wouldn't know what i'll ever do without you, sweetheart.

2011-12-19T14:06:00.003+08:00

Apart from making wantons...

going to the gym, or for a swim, watching movies at home, buying groceries and cooking meals together, makes me feel so much less alone.

2011-12-14T16:59:00.003+08:00

Then i visited another personal site i used to frequent, and found this:

" I just wanted to say, that I have been reading your blog lately & I cannot help but secretly feel a sort of delirium creep over me when you mock at him. At the same time too, I feel so relieved that someone finally sees him in the same light as I do- nothing but a Jerk with a capital J at that! The rest of the world only knows him by his saintly facade but I think we both know what he's really made of. Cheers, Good that we've both found solace in better men :) "

I don't know who you're referring to, but i figured it would most probably be for me.
I've always thought that my angst were merely vindictive, and only plucked up enough courage to be relatively subtle with my frustration.

Now, i somehow doubt what he once said about you.
But it doesn't matter anymore...

Cos babe like you said, i'm glad we've both found solace in better men : )

2011-12-13T19:31:00.002+08:00

I find myself mired into this state of listlessness whenever i'm spared moments from the hectic week. Taking gasps of breath from all the exasperation and frustration from tuition as well as school..

it's so ironic how i'm busiest during the holidays.

2011-12-11T23:27:00.001+08:00

Dressed in loose chiffon and almost zero make up, i gathered some courage to step into town for shopping today.
The boyfriend surprised me with a cute sunflower this morning, & we had a hearty hotpot meal amidst the cold rainy weather.

Thereafter he bought me clothes, makeup, as well as a new pair of shoes.
In return i got him 2 simple shirts i can only afford, which will never measure up materially to my loots.
Dropped by KOI for some sweet indulgence before he sent me back to school.

Lazy, but amazing day.

2011-12-11T23:07:00.001+08:00

Congratulations to the newly-wed couple: my 2 good friends.
May the both of you live in eternal bliss!

2011-12-08T01:17:00.001+08:00

Out of all the gossip and casual talk with Friedrich for the 3 years we've been so close (literally as neighbors and platonically as friends) to each other,

His (rare but precious) appreciation for the words I spoke to him somehow gave me a liberating feeling.

It freed me from the thought that different friends serve different purposes; friends close enough would unveil varying sides masked from the rest of society -except very comfortably- .

2011-12-05T03:32:00.003+08:00

Oh & did i mention how much i love the boy who never, ever, allows me to carry anything just a lil' heavy?

And also the one who gives me massage vouchers after my exams,
set up mosquito nets in my room,
buy my favourite food for me all the time,
tells me how much he loves me every day..

& the list goes on.

A million kisses to you.

2011-12-05T02:34:00.005+08:00

Upon checking in we were served with odd-tasting yet surprisingly refreshing ginger tea

Ben's fav hangout -the hammock by the beach

The boy who showers me with unconditional love

We stuffed ourselves full with A&W the moment we reached the city

Foot reflexology after a long day of shopping!

Feasting at the seafood restaurant

Midori ^^

Banana cake Ben bought. My favourite!

Candid pic but looks so posed (not poised. read carefully)

Actually he was checking the weather: all clear

... More than just clear. We spotted a pretty rainbow!

Where's your sexy pelvis bone baby?

WE NEED TO STOP THE SHILIN CHICKEN/ BUBBLE TEA/ LAKSA ADDICTION

Seashell picking competition with our smirnoff bottles.

Only alcoholics attempt to drunken poor hermits too.As seen from two posts down we had the entire pool to ourselves!

Directly outside our room, i'm sure Ben didn't regret upgrading our room to the premium beachfront category.

On a sidenote, thanks again for paying :*

Breakfast

More pictures but these will do for this space.

Can't wait for our next trip!

Perth?

2011-12-05T01:11:00.003+08:00

I know i still owe everyone a holiday post but i'm really tooooo busy!

Some quick updates:

-Shopping w Hazel-
-Shisha w Justin-
-Shisha and beer w Nevin and friends-
-Quick catch up w Fiqo-
-Dinner w Shu and WM-
-Starbucks w Ron-
-Lunch and shopping w Hani-

I feel accomplished! Finally met the closest friends.
Now i'm left with the best friends and i'll definitely reserve more time for them.

2011-12-02T14:11:00.001+08:00

Holiday post up soon..

Never thought i'd have experienced something as magical as being with you.

2011-12-02T01:22:00.002+08:00

So much time spent & I'm more than just glad that everything's falling into place perfectly.

How..
things work out so easily despite our personalities being entirely different
& parents being supportive this time round.

'd never ask for anything more.
I love you for being the best with your efforts.

2011-11-27T19:11:00.001+08:00

Just had a hearty dinner w my parents and the boyfriend. About to head out for shopping w his parents now!

On a side note, 1 day to holiday w Ben!
Too hyped. Thanks B for sponsoring my accommodation/ transport, & Daddy for giving me cash for the expenses.

Ultra happy girl!

2011-11-25T19:37:00.001+08:00

So, so exhausted.

But I'm sure the short getaway's gonna be rejuvenating.
3 more days!

2011-11-23T16:33:00.003+08:00

Today's been a terrible day, but thank God for everyone.

R.I.P Granny, i'm sure you've left for a better place.

2011-11-22T14:08:00.002+08:00

Wanna go back to the days when i had no academic role to play.

I hate reading. I hate studying. I hate exams.

Grrrr.

2011-11-22T01:09:00.004+08:00

Please do not recycle the lines you've once used on me on your new girlfriend.
Not cool, dude.

& because i hate to be all sneaky about how i feel?
Here you go. The truth.

2011-11-21T20:14:00.002+08:00

The lingering melancholy isn't doing anything any good.

2011-11-21T14:22:00.000+08:00

The best friend who's beautiful in every way.

2011-11-20T13:42:00.001+08:00

There's something about school I particularly like albeit the distance from home, from my family, from the conveniences of a 20 year old.

It's the unexplainable sense of liberation, not from the constrains of discipline but from the ephemeral isolation of oneself.

2011-11-17T17:34:00.001+08:00

Don't remember anything 'cept for myself falling asleep in your arms.

& for keeping me safe, warm, and comfortable, I love you.

2011-11-16T00:27:00.002+08:00

I'm now glad I've let you go, because not only do I just have to put in my best effort again- I am reciprocated with somebody way better.

& to let you feel the pain just a lil' more?
He's the guy you wish you could be.

The only difference: you only whined about your predicament & get all upset when you hear planes fly.

2011-11-15T10:16:00.002+08:00

Up early on a bright Tuesday morning: almost swallowing breakfast entirely only because i slept the hunger away just 5 hours ago.

Found this pic on myspace posted a few years back haha! Good ol' times with the cousin. Hope you're enjoying yourself in Thailand!

2011-11-13T18:22:00.001+08:00

In school on a Sunday afternoon reading an American novel authored by Twain.
With heavy lids and throbbing temples one cannot explain how I would love for time to fly right now.

The exam pressure's winning it's battle against my own comfort.

2011-11-12T14:20:00.002+08:00

11/11/11 was a day well spent.

Nothing too elaborate for Ben's birthday celebration: yummy dinner at a restaurant, movie, then impromtu supper and a long walk back to school after everything.

The next morning.. I woke up to a pretty bouquet of pink roses.
Because i had changed the location to meet he had the bouquet delivered to the new destination. The delivery man screwed up and had to deliver it personally the next day so..... here it is at Nanyang Technological University.

& now he's fast asleep, dead beat from waiting for the bouquet's arrival since early morning in fear that i'll catch him leaving the room suspiciously =)

2011-11-11T03:45:00.004+08:00

Amidst the struggle to keep up with revision, i find myself conciously kept happy at the expense of others.

These pillars of strength keep me going. They fuel me in this race against time.
& with all gratitude i just wanna say... Thank God for all of you.

1. Daddy and Mummy
For being more than just good parents: confidante, friends, advisors.

2. Ben
You doing everything with me in mind.

3. April & Ezra
Just being unexplainably, irreplaceable best friends.

4. Taj & Jieying & Dom
The little things all of you do to keep me going in school.

5. Shuzhen
For giving me a dose of love and appreciation every now and then.

Really wouldn't know what i'll do without all of you.

2011-11-09T02:08:00.003+08:00

Up late into the night again.

Today felt longer than usual. Had a quick breakfast before i swam all the stress away.
I guess my melancholy dissolved after those tears were submerged underwater.

In a state so broken and frail i wish the emotional proximity could bring us even closer.

2011-11-08T03:38:00.002+08:00

A constant infringement of the limits of my body clock's taking a toll on me.
I need proper meals, i need my beauty sleep...

& i need you.

2011-11-04T04:54:00.001+08:00

I like intellectual men who are not boring, too meticulous, or arrogant.

I like intellectual men who are humorous, adaptable, and confident.

& everything else doesn't matter anymore.

2011-11-03T04:50:00.003+08:00

2011-11-02T04:28:00.002+08:00

Distance
Time
Age
Money
Appearances

Can love still manifest in the face of all these considerations?

2011-10-31T03:23:00.002+08:00

There is always this grim reminder on how love always fails me.

The throbbing pain in my temples, the shivering cold hands, swollen lids, aching heart... Can't describe how much I hate the aftermath of a heartbreak.

This is unfair for you.

2011-10-28T02:35:00.003+08:00

People who make wild claims about the insignificance of good education usually are less educated themselves.

Don't be bitter, it doesn't serve well as consolation.

2011-10-27T01:40:00.002+08:00

Though you're now living at the other side of the world, i'm sure nothing will change between us! A year's nothing compared to 20 years spent growing up with you.
Stay happy Jiejie, have a fun and relaxing life in Arizona.

I'll miss facial and late night chit-chat sessions with you, though..

2011-10-24T10:10:00.003+08:00

At my desk in the morning with a mug of hot coffee, legs crossed, & hair brushed.
I look out of the window only to witness pretty skies and rays of sunlight piercing through the droplets of rain on the glass panes.

Been awhile since i had some quiet time.
Life's going at too fast a pace.

2011-10-22T17:08:00.003+08:00

Drowning in essays and papers even with the examinations approaching.
Despite the diminishing time i'm glad life's still relatively smooth-sailing.

Good grades thus far, fun-filled university life, & the always happy family.
Not forgetting you who make the above all so complete.

2011-10-20T01:34:00.001+08:00

To take a leap of faith?

I'm sorry my heart cannot possibly withstand another crack in it's already broken state.

2011-10-17T15:31:00.002+08:00

Monday's always a reminder for one to snap out of any fantasical wish.
With deadlines to meet and canvassing events to attend, i find myself mired into a state of listlessness and fatigue. Drained of much energy i begin to wonder whether this is typical of any university student piled with hall committments.

2011-10-16T14:04:00.001+08:00

The past 5 days 've been nothing less than just fun.
Putting aside all the work that's to be done, I find myself freed into this state of ephemeral tranquility.
Now that I'm about to return to reality, ease's something quite far away from me.

2011-10-11T20:20:00.002+08:00

I regret still telling everyone how you're generally a nice person, and how nobody should judge you based on your whimsical promises to me.

You know what? Fuck you.
You'll never get far enough in life.

2011-10-11T00:39:00.004+08:00

I miss how Love didn't use to be an issue so vexatious.
Can we not factor in all considerations?

Do we even have to?

2011-10-10T14:01:00.003+08:00

Indubitably the most casual yet gratifying shoot!

2011-10-09T23:16:00.001+08:00

Buddies!

2011-10-07T00:45:00.003+08:00

Woke up this morning to some tasty breakfast bought by Ben! He came down to NTU with my roomie's and my first meal of the day. With that, Jieying bought KOI back in the afternoon for us!!!

Such bliss...

2011-10-05T00:52:00.003+08:00

Love how you bring warmth to me amidst the coolest weather.

2011-10-03T22:04:00.002+08:00

Drowning in assignments and research papers i find myself barely breathing.
The semester will soon come to a close and i'll probably go for a short holiday with my friends!
Too hyped for the getaway.

2011-10-03T13:06:00.002+08:00

When i read my archives without tears welling up in my eyes,
i know you've been completely evicted from my mind.

You came & left so quickly.
How sad.

2011-10-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

B just said that my comb looks like a seahorse.

...?! SEAHORSE?

2011-09-30T20:58:00.001+08:00

The only female pair in the committee!
Meet the national shooter Jianhuan.
So glad to be able to work with her =)

2011-09-30T02:56:00.003+08:00

Can't wait to spend my friday night lying against your chest, with you whispering sweet nothings, stroking my hair, telling me how you'll never wish for more.

I love how you do everything with me in mind.
I love your selflessness.

2011-09-30T02:53:00.002+08:00

Love this girl!

2011-09-29T16:48:00.003+08:00

Photoshoot for the main committee of Dinner & Dance 2012 went smoothly!
It was fun faciliating the shoot with my partner, & i'm pretty confident we'll work well together as the Arts & Marketing directors in the coming academic year.
More than just grateful for a cooperative team! We're certainly the only team in hall consisting of an entire group of close friends.

Promised pictures up soon!

2011-09-29T01:22:00.004+08:00

I'm enjoying the fact of how your site's actually of some mocking value to my sister's friends during their lunch breaks.
& especially how she describes their varying reactions to me when i return home from school.

You need to be smarter.
---
(To a once friend of mine)
Btw darling, nobody was referring to you.
Stop being the biggest critique of yourself, going into a frenzy once you suspect some hatred.
The panic and counter emotive language just....... proves the point.
&.. stop involving yourself in what i decide to write here.
With much love.

2011-09-29T00:59:00.004+08:00

I refuse to come to realisation how the academic rigour's accelerating.
More than 2 dozens of books to be analysed this semester but i've not started on any.
With pressing deadlines, stiff competition, & examinations nearing, i indubitably am still reluctant to initiate "mugging".

I believe that learning goes beyond just the cramming of ephemeral knowledge.

2011-09-28T01:27:00.005+08:00

Don't really bother about what you do anymore.
You've reduced yourself into this insignificant little figure in my life.

Goodbye sweetheart.

2011-09-26T23:57:00.002+08:00

Dear boy, the possibility that i'll be as broken?
0.

Your efforts 've come close to nought.

2011-09-26T22:35:00.004+08:00

On an early Saturday afternoon.

I see these people almost every day but i'll never get sick of them!

2011-09-26T15:44:00.001+08:00

You end up sounding like a fool if you declare how much you love your boyfriend, then how he has hurt or angered or disappointed you, then how you should let go of everything, then how you love him again, all in the span of 3 days.

Oh and this goes on.

2011-09-22T18:52:00.001+08:00

Look at what i've found!

Had your own concert at expo, released your album, established fan clubs...
Glad you're doing well!

2011-09-22T02:58:00.002+08:00

Stirred myself into a whirlpool of mixed emotions & i can barely breathe. The persistence of excruciating pain, incessant worrying, and heartfelt unspoken desires... unimaginably tormenting.
I find myself circling, chasing tails of uncertainty, trapped in the depths of deceit and hypocrisy. A mesh of false intentions, broken promises, and harsh reality's definitely too much for one like me to handle.

Sometimes i wished the human heart could be a quiescent organ, void of emotions. Only then will we be freed from anguish and despondency.

2011-09-21T02:44:00.005+08:00

Thank you for being patient with me even when i harped on my past relationship which ended months ago.

Thank you for spending the time to cajole me to happiness, or cradle me to warmth.

Thank you for your pressence in a wreck like me.

I'm truly thankful for you.

2011-09-18T23:31:00.003+08:00

The ClasSIXs

Dinner & Dance at Mandarin Orchard Hotel was awesome!

With Jeff the favourite boy =)

Boshen!!!!! He donated all his vegetables to me throughout the dinner hahahaha/

ROOMIE LOVEEE
Best Buddy ever!
Thanks for picking me up from tuition today =)

Yvoneeeeeee

Thanks Adriel for the white wine!

Derek! Ultimate drinking buddy in hall

Best neighbour award. Lorong Ah Soo ftw!

HALL KING SIA

Jevon Yanggggggggg =) Arts and Marketing Director for DnD and im his successor hehe.

Late night hangout buddies! Ultimate rich kids.

Had a great time after that with B at Marina Barrage before we went to HK Cafe for supper =)

A Saturday well spent indeed!

2011-09-14T22:08:00.006+08:00

Rocketeer

As much as i like how my course of study revolve around individualistic efforts, all these suddenly seem... a tad more difficult than i thought they would be.

Haven't been studying much lately but i'm still coping fine, & i'll wanna continue getting those As even after the tremendous amount of hall responsibilities set in.

Glad i'm in a locally recognised university where i know my efforts would be more than just acknowledged. Made it here by sheer luck but i will never want to compromise on the opportunities lying ahead of me.

2011-09-11T11:55:00.001+08:00

2011-09-10T02:05:00.001+08:00

It's 2am & i sit here with mixed feelings.

I like to make myself believe how i'm really truly happy without you.

2011-09-08T03:53:00.001+08:00

Tonight had it's good & bad news, happy & sad moments.
But whatever it is, i know i've gotta stay strong.

2011-09-04T04:32:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, it came to my realization that i still am scarred from the pain you've inflicted upon me.
I told a friend how it hurt, and how people always believe that i'll recover soon enough.
She comforted me, told me not to cry, and said "don't look back anymore".

I then finally plucked up enough courage to delete your pictures, one by one.
But never could i bear to thrash the one that meant so much to me.

Only to me.

2011-09-04T04:13:00.009+08:00

The supposed university pressure's accelerating.

Work is coming in at sucha fast pace that i hardly have time to breathe.
Hall commitments will soon be settled and in no time, i'll be burdened with a tremendous amount of responsibilities..

Vexed with an essay a few hours ago i questioned my worth in a local university.
Tears welled up due to the overwhelming discomfort i was facing; uncertain in my own forte.

But i braced myself, took a deep breath, and reminded how this isn't considered a feat.
Not especially after i've went through your heartbreak.

2011-08-30T13:28:00.001+08:00

2011-08-29T01:44:00.001+08:00

Soon enough, I'll learn to stop living in pretense that i've a heart made of steel.

2011-08-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

The reason why i love life in university.

2011-08-21T22:54:00.001+08:00

Back in school and I'm about to meet Dom to do some reading.
Week 3's readings are 5 times the amount of week 2's.

Not very encouraging when Monday's my longest day =(

2011-08-20T22:51:00.003+08:00

With Val at Club avatar!

With Derek & Jeff at Zouk! Sums up my Friday night.
Thanks Derek and Jeff for taking care of me when i got really wasted!

2011-08-17T17:23:00.001+08:00

Wish I could hate you.

2011-08-17T02:39:00.001+08:00

I thought my Tuesday sucked when I started the day lost at Nanyang Business School, then being stranded at a 3 hour lecture alone not understanding what the Chinese lecturer was rambling about China's history.

But it ended well, as usual.

After doing up an essay while having dinner, my best buddy Dom returned from his pageant training and we went room-hopping! It then followed w us walking out of school for supper with our favorite few senior guys.

People who can converse intellectually as well as nonsensically with you at the same time?
You know they sure are keepers.

2011-08-15T15:57:00.001+08:00

Blues?

Starting the week with 3 lectures:
Skipped the first, attended the second (shortest), & currently 15 minutes into the last one but I'm already thinking of walking out.

What a torment to have Monday as my longest day of the week.